Glee: Keep Me Hanging On

I've been watching Glee religiously. Unlike other 'girls' around my age, I didn't start watching the musical series because I'm interested in High School Musical, or teen comedy-dramas. Those ended for me when Marissa died; I've still to watch a full episode of Skins. I was initially drawn to Glee because of creator Ryan Murphy. He worked on two of my most favourite series ever made: Popular and Nip/Tuck. And like these programmes, Glee contains hilarious surreal tangents, flashbacks and witty dialogue.

Yet Glee ultimately fails in two places where its predecessors reigned: it lacks any sex appeal and fails to approach (or mock) any issues of moral panic, instead opting for incredibly conservative story arcs. Whereas Popular would look at eating disorders, and Nip/Tuck would introduce viewers to such ethical minefields as the possibility of letting Catherine Deneuve have her husband's ashes put into her breast implants, Glee doesn't get too specific on its issues. Or the way they're handled.Have you noticed that whenever a woman is pregnant on a FOX-syndicated TV series, she'll either have the baby or die herself? Funny, that.

The didactic nature of the programme slows its progress, but I take great comfort in watching a complete season of a series. I hated Ugly Betty, but insisted on watching to the end of season 1 before forgetting all about it.

However, there is something brilliant about the songs on Glee which may well keep me hanging on. As they are covers, the songs introduce the audience to a whole new world of genre and possibility. For example, the recent cover of You Keep Me Hangin' On. In ascending order of brilliance.

5. The Glee version. The shit version. It's got as much soul as a melting ice cap.

4. The 60's psychedelic version - Vanilla Fudge

3. The 90's country/house genre-bender - Reba McEntire

2. The 80's synthpop version - Kim Wilde

1. The astounding, 1960's Motown version - Diana Ross and the Supremes (although it was argued that Flo Ballard sang most of this track...)

Music #753

Our senses have been completely saturated with mass-marketed talent, to the point where we don't really recognise what true talent is anymore. The very word 'talent' has been hijacked by a series of music and television execs who probably don't realise the devastating impact they're having upon the world as they're too busy counting their money, all of which they've made by exploiting said 'talent'. Yadda yadda yadda.

It would be all to easy to continue in this vein. To dissect the horrors of Jedward's return to the British public's consciousness through endless promotion of a Queen bastardisation set to send Freddie Mercury's long-deceased body in a spin. Or to analyse why Susan Boyle has been adulated and mocked to such extremes, despite being pretty average on all counts. I understand that the more examples I place here, the less my eventual point, (that we should ignore these Cowellistic visions of unstoppable fame, glory and musical purity), will actually mean. But I've started to realise how enjoyable it is to have a growing readership, and search engine optimisation is one way of improving my page-clicks. Additionally, I wanted to have a legitimate way of dropping into this post that life does have oddly recurring moments. In an interview with VH1 in the early 'noughties', Vanilla Ice retrospectively commented on his debut album: "I would have licked my own mother's asshole for a million bucks"

Maybe there's something to be said for biting one's tongue. No, seriously. As much as it's the gut reaction of many to counter the mainstream, isn't it quite graceful to hold back the venom? To instead appreciate good music? Having an opinion on the latest tabloid limpet will keep one relevant, but if it's just for the sake of relevance, then it's not going to help one be interesting. Similarly, liking music simply because it is contrary to the mainstream is the reason why I attended a Slipknot concert aged 14 and came face to face with a man in his mid-fifties who was dripping with blood which was pouring out of a hole where most people keep their noses. Here are some songs, all of which I've been enjoying a lot over the past week. They are neither very left-field or (too) overexposed. But I like them.

Massive Attack -Paradise Circus (feat. Hope Sandoval) (Gui Boratto Remix)

I Blame Coco - Caesar ft. Robyn (Diplo Remix)

Simian Mobile Disco ft. Beth Ditto - Cruel Intentions (Joker Remix)

Shy Child - Disconnected (Anoraak Remix)

Honestly, I love this last one. It'll take approximately 27252342 years for this it to leave my mind.

Penultimately, I would like to add that if you listen to Christina Aguilera's 'Fighter' whilst watching the music video to Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance' (the latter on mute), good and unexpected things will happen.

And finally, if you think the Helping Haiti song is good, buy it for £1.98. If you think it's shit, go to the Disasters Emergency Committee (DEC) and donate at least £3.96 to Haiti.

music #677

Frankie Knuckles and Esser Chuckles

Frankie Knuckles has helped me over the past couple of days to get some work done.

I also impromptu left the library to get to the Cavern to see ESSER.

I had a chat with him afters. Being a bit obnoxious my friend had called him Rufio and then I'd stolen his roadie's jumper. Here's my exclusive post-Cavern interview with the band.

Esser's band: Oh god, we thought you were Adam

Me: No, it's me.

(Adam shows up)

Adam: Watch out for the rich tea biscuits

Me, answering the rich tea biscuits: Hello? Oh, oh it's for you. (passes biscuits to Adam)

Adam: Oh hello?

Me: So guys are you all absolutely fucked? You look fucked when you perform, which is nice.

Esser: Yeah, we're fucking wasted.

(Soundguy starts to take photos of me on his blackberry)

Esser: Do you have a spare cigarette?

Me: You can have THIS one, Rufio.

Esser: Me? Really? Thankyou so much. Why did you call me Rufio?

Me: I just do not know. Are you on twitter?

Esser: Oh yes.

Me: I'll twat you.

Bandmates: We've got to go now, are you coming or going?

Me: Oh goodbye.

The music is a bit like Lily Allen for boys. I liked it.

When I Grow Up

I want to be the person who decides on the music that plays in the cars when you steal them in GTA. I used to be into Wave FM on Vice City but now I'm heavily into SF-UR

My favourite part of this type of music is that it's all about suffering and overcoming it. It's all pretty religious, as far as gay anthems go. There's a reason why under the arches at Villiers Street it's called 'Heaven'. Even before AIDS reared its ugly head, the gay community has been eerily aware of its own mortality and humanity.