Hurts and Crop Tops

You know how girls are wearing crop tops again? Well, they’re still as impractical as ever. It's not that the bastard child of a t-shirt and a sports bra has changed. We’re the ones who’ve changed. Ten years ago, our only logical explanations for wearing a crop top would be either a sudden growth spurt or the new professional name of ‘Krystal’. But now, we gaze upon crop tops as throwbacks to erstwhile glamour, the kind of trashy early 90’s look that we spent a whole decade running away from, just to return to its acrylic-taloned clutch.

In a similar way, I think we could all do with changing our attitudes to Freestyle. It’s just as trashy as crop tops are, but it’s been left behind in the cold. With only its crop top to keep it warm. I’m hoping that Hurts will bring it back. Most hype about the band Hurts discusses how they’re arty and aloof and European. But not many people have got to the heart (yes, there is one) of what makes them great.

The two tracks floating around the ether are both sombre pop-opera affairs laden with hyperbole over a synth backing. The differences are very telling. They’re either going to stick with the Disco Lento (literals, ‘slow disco’) of ‘Blood, Tears, Gold’ and be shuffled into the neverending pile of sing-a-long-a-synthpop, right next to OneRepublic and Timbaland. Or they’re going to aid a Freestyle resurgence with more songs like ‘Wonderful Life’.

This isn’t proper Freestyle, but it contains elements: syncopated beats, slap bass, subtle falsettos and a naughty touch of brass. This makes it pretty sassy, and something that people who aren’t white might enjoy.

Freestyle found its feet as part of Latin pop in the late 1970s. It soon developed as an alternative to Disco, bringing listeners back to dance music during a lull in the early 80s. Freestyle lyrics are all about people upset about a lost love, or striving for more. It’s all quite tragic. It’s called Freestyle not only because of the dancing, but because beats were so syncopated that DJs had to switch their mixing styles FREE-quently. Or something like that.

If crop-tops have made their way back into fashionistas’ hearts and onto cold-stomached shoulders, then why can’t Freestyle wriggle back towards our ears? People want to look like 1980s Miami Latinas, adorning themselves with pale denim shorts and trashy piercings, snarling around East London with curly tendrils… maybe they should have a worthy soundtrack. What do you think of Freestyle?

Hurts – Wonderful Life (Arthur Baker Remix)

Santa Esmerelda – Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood

Nayobe- Please Don’t Go

Shannon – Let The Music Play

C Bank with Jenny Burton – One More Shot

Planet Patrol – Play at Your Own Risk

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This piece was originally written for the Chew The Fat! blog.

Let The Music Play

In the case of Jordin Sparks, I've always had a soft spot for 'Battlefield'. The lyrics are so emotional and hyperbole, in a way reminiscent of everything good Phil Spector did. And the mid-tempo, yet euphoric nature of the song is actually pretty similar to most of Florence and the Machine's album. By disguising good music as shitty R'n'B, Jordin's doing really well. I don't know where the hell she's come from, I'm guessing it's an American talent show competition...

There we go. I just wikipediad (sp?!) her, and she's the winner of the sixth American Idol and looks a fair bit like America Ferrera.

I've recently become partial to latin freestyle music, starting with Nayobe's 'Please Don't Go'. Not only do I like the idea of going to Mexico in the 1980's to score, I really like women with strong voices barking on about their weak souls and wildly romantic dispositions. When I discovered that Jordin's 'S.O.S. Let the Music Play' uses a sample of Shannon's 'Let the Music Play', I jumped up out of my seat. I've been a fan of Shannon's 'Give me Tonight' for a while, but apparently it was nowhere near as commercially successful as her debut single, 'Let the Music Play'. The latter pushed dance music to a new place, and is a credited as a revolutionary song, putting dance music back in the mainstream, when so many had shunned disco that it had spent the past couple of years hidden away in the exclusive gay clubs of the big cities (Paradise Garage, Chicago Warehouse etc).

Shannon - Let The Music Play

A little more exploration has informed me that there are loads of remixes of Shannon's 1983 hit, but they are all abominations to the ears, and are most probably heard in the less glamorous Mediterranean holiday resorts. Jordin's sampling is very splendid, though. Just like old-school Xenomania, the producers and writers have crammed in a brilliant middle 8, and as many melodies as they can get their grubby mitts on. Embedding is disabled by request, so there you go.

Disco makes your money go further.

These disco tracks really need to be played from start to finish, despite all being around 8 minutes long. The length of the songs is a brilliant thing, however. There are two reasons why these songs, and many others of the 1970's, were so long.

1. In the 1970's people did not have last.fm, itunes or spotify (in the case of the latter, still no-one uses it). This meant the only way people could arrange playlists would be to use a live DJ, and even Isaac Hayes, at the height of his resplendent decadence and overspending, probably wouldn't have employed someone to mix next to the bed as he got his jig on. In the 1970's, people would have to shag to an album, or an 8minute single. A pre-coital selection of a three-minute punk song could have serious consequences for a man attempting to ensure his partner could expect at least something half-decent in the sack.

2. In the 1970's, someone predicted that the quality of albums would deterioriate and that people would like to buy singles individually from online resources. This oracle of music realised that people would want to get their money's worth for 79p, so would prefer long songs than slow songs.

music #677

graduating

Instead of doing the whole normal graduation malarkey, I headed to Melt festival, leaving my return tickets in the hands of someone who turns out to be a compulsive liar. Who promises free plane tickets to people she barely knows?! The luck of the draw had it that I ended up returning from Melt to Manchester via Liverpool, then the next day I went down to Exeter via London. Two days later I found myself in Guildford, about to go to Dorset for Camp Bestival, the most hectic kids' event I've ever attended.

This could explain a hiatus in blogging.

Here are the bands I've seen, with a rating, and one anecdote attached to what happened whilst watching. Just keeping it nice and simple.

Phoenix ***** During Phoenix at Melt I tried to have a snooze on my knees. At Camp Bestival I jumped around and realised I recognised all of their songs. And the band has a million members.

Erol Alkan **** Better at Melt than at Camp Bestival due to seeming sound restrictions. He's also adored by many youths who keep on asking to drink your booze. As if 'just a sip' will get them laid.

Boys Noize ***** Superb, although, at Camp Bestival, was replaced halfway through by a large crowd of youths, including one girl who kept on staring me and the guyrls out as we flicked them the v-fingers..if anyone can tell me who the fuck they were I'd appreciate it.
(all at Camp Bestival and Melt)

Aphex Twin **** lots of flashy lights and bassline

Royksopp ***** Catchy songs, I spent a lot of this time swirling around in the crowd.

Fever Ray **** The light show was magnificent, the songs a bit Bjorky

Digitalism *** Missed them a bit, but sounded wicked.

Klaxons ** Missed them a bit, sounded fat.

Rex the Dog **** Amaaaazing sounds.

Diplo ***** Horrendously good, the best booty girl visuals I have ever seen. Sound quality was perfect.

Drop the Lime *** yeaaha. Can't remember.

La Roux ***** Her voice has improved and she dances around splendidly.

Oasis ** they could've made use of the epic arena a bit more, but apparently they don't want to be Simple Minds. Why the fuck not?!

Passion Pit **** yeaaaah

Boy 8-Bit **** so beardy

Simian Mobile Disco *** wonderful if i hadn't had needed to sleep on my friend Dom's shoulder during the set, only for all the Indian girls from Britain at Melt to have a go at him for humping them. By accident.

PJ Harvey ***** Beautiful. This is Love would've been amazing, but as far as solo sets go, brilliant.

Bon Iver *** really good but kind of depress sometimes.

Florence and the Machine ***** brrrrirrirlrrlrriant

Laura Marling *** lovely, but snorey.

Annie Mac ** yeaaaah. boresey, until we left the tent and from a great distance heard Caspa's remix of Deadmau5 I Remember. Urghg. I prefer her on Twitter. how weird.

Imelda May *** Didn't see much but looked great.

Skream and Benga - didn't actually see them, met them. They were off their chops and had clearly been fighting.

Mumford and Sons **** shoegazey and epic.

Chase and Status ** kept on being distracted from the pounding drum n bass by 15 year olds wanting me to pick their braces.

Golden Silvers **** very good, like a psychedelic Strokes.

I like music.

Sneaking into a Madonna gig.

After Michael Jackson died, and I finished studying at university, I decided I needed a new direction in my life. I realised that as upset as I was at Michael Jackson's passing, I'd be in floods of tears when Madonna goes. I decided that, whatever I do with my degree, or my life in general, I must always have the means to see a Madonna concert. I know that with her yoga and smoothie lifestyle she's going to last a while, so I thought it would be a long term project of mine to always have enough money in the bank to afford a Madonna ticket.



Until my lodger told me about being sent a few extra tickets. The whole thing is a little dodgy, but I ended up seeing Madonna. Just about. The o2 is the most hideously large venue with a soundsystem which leaves a lot to the imagination, unlike some of Madonna's dancemoves. However, she is a living legend. A lot of her old songs were spliced with new production, with nifty little touches here and there. Frozen was sung over the Deadmau5 remix of Calvin Harris' I'm Not Alone. Holiday had bits of Everybody playing in the mix. Paul Oakenfold was onstage throughout and the whole thing was live. Her voice has deepened a lot since the early years, therefore Papa Don't Preach was out of the question. Human Nature and He Must Love Me were amazing, as were all of the newer songs.


The Spanish interlude was a bit trashy, with all the intentions of being classy disrupted by the audience clapping fat-handedly and out of time. The montage of all the Romany children's suffering around the world was also a bit righteous. I'm not sure how far Madonna's charity work extends, but it was interesting to see an act who vibes off of general humanitarian crises to get an emotional response from the audience.

Michael Jackson was someone who did this exact same thing, and I don't think it's a massive problem, as it does draw attention to the issues, but gazing around the audience, I realised that a lot of Madonna fans are stupid twats. Showing starving children on a big screen won't line anyone but Madonna's pockets. Luckily, she does decide to donate a fraction of her millions to charity work.


The whole thing was a bit of a blur but I'm very pleased to have gone. Now I must make a new mission for life and achieve it within the next week.

moooosics

Florence and the Machine are just brills, hopefully seeing them at some festival this year somewhere:




Major Lazer was introduced to me by my friend Dom. I'd got us tickets to see Diplo and Switch at Notting Hill Carnival, where they would've premiered this shit, but Dom and I were both too hungover to go. We're idiots for that, but we're enjoying this stuff like heck and it was nice to hear it played just the right amount at Beach Break. Beach Break almost rinsed me of my appreciation of La Roux.






I've actually seen Yeah Yeah Yeahs and they are fantastic. I'm pleased to see the way they're going. It's a bit electroclashy.





Lysa Lynn's stuff is gayer than a row of freshly lubed and torn, rainbow tattooed anuses, but I like it. Perhaps for that very reason.

who wore it best?

When perusing hypemachine for a pleasant Roisin Murphy remix, I found this:



I then tried to find it again on Youtube so I could post it here and talk about the brilliant thudding disco-lite. Then I found THIS:




The chorus alone proves that Roisin's version is better than Sophie Ellis Bextor's cover. Calvin Harris is the ultimate winner here, though.